So Absence Makes the Heart Grow Fonder?

What a title. In this case, absence does not make the heart grow fonder. I guess I got busy with life there for quite a while… like months actually. Mom has done so well I found I didn’t need the outlet… I cheated on blogging… I admit I sure did. I got busy regaining life enjoyment, camping, grandkids, home life and just being normal. We got all the way through the holidays without a hitch.

Mom’s chemo seemed to work wonders. She was released from chemo back in late July. But the test began to show growth again and now her pain is returning. Oh, why.

I’m obviously not the best writer as evidenced but my own words previously Just Trust Jesus are words not to be ignored. We never feel it’s fair although when we come we know we must leave.

We are all in this Together… and I’m glad

Whether it’s taking care of a family member or just listening as a sounding board for family or friends, it’s a good thing to realize we are all in this together. There are times when I get miffed at a family member for not saying what “I” think should be said or doing what “I” think should be done. In the end everything we do is a team effort. Whether we think so at the time or not, the alternative, being in turmoil without family/friendly support is unnerving. There are times I just get into tantrum mode, selfish mode and think “now why did so and so do this…” “they don’t think right” “they don’t do right”, when truly they are probably doing the best they can however they can. I have run across this quite a few times this past month. You know what I think it is? I think it’s God saying “hey, dummy down there…. be blessed, don’t judge, get closer to me, take delight, be thankful, be ernest, remain honest…. and never forget We are in this Together.”

Why I keep getting frustrated when I have someone more powerful than anyone to lean on is mystifying. I have the love of Jesus and the security of trusting him entirely. I think back to February, and by gosh there has been a multitude of turmoil — more than I’ve ever had in my life — but you know what? I AM closer to God. I have never been so certain of Him. I have never had the reminders of Him as I do these past months. When all is well, we tend to go about our business; when things turn sour we could blame or question why oh why this? why now? why…? ….Simple.. it is the plan. A plan that is so much larger than anyone of us. His plan is great, it’s awesome. It’s never been promised as easy. When things are easy we tend to get full of ourselves, don’t we? Turmoil is part of the plan; the lessons and the desire He has for us to become closer to Him.

I don’t understand how anyone can deny Him. I am not poking a stick at science or at non believers, I’m simply stating I don’t understand how they miss the Light. Sigh… So glad, So thankful I see His light. Four words…. guaranteed to bring peace if repeated from the heart “I trust you Jesus”.

I am so glad that even with all the squabbles, heartache, frustration that we have the light of God and I’m thankful for family. Squabbling, messy family….All in all… we truly are all in this together.

`Splish`~ `Splash ~`

So, bathrooms sound easy. Afterall, what can go wrong– it’s only 37 square feet. That’s like 2 sheets of plywood for new underlayment for a new floor! First off, Lowe’s didn’t sell plywood in a 1/2″ 4×8 sheet without both sides being chocked full of knots and imperfections that we would have spent hours filling. I use the term “we” loosely. I supervise pretty well but leave the labor to the Mr. We settled on particle board underlayment, smooth as a baby’s butt. Cutting that stuff with all the little angles and notches isn’t easy I am told. It’s harder to get it into place.

Strolling the store for a new toilet bowl wax ring brought great results! Take a look!

That was a nice surprise. When I asked the salesman why the elongated bowl he replied “it’s for boys and men, mostly”…. SOLD! I wheeled it out. Nice and the best thing…. clean sides without all the pipe showing so it can be wiped down. Never in my life did I think I would be excited over a new bowl of this type!

Onward with the bathroom redo! Next is tidying up the underlayment and putting down the flooring and new bowl!This is just after we pulled the ugly carpet but before the particle board.

My Gosh

What a week. We are having floors put in the house and 68 boxes of flooring was delivered yesterday. The rule of thumb is the worse you hate your carpet the longer it will last. Well, our carpet is outliving the planet. When we moved in 6 years ago I had little doubt the carpet would last. Well, it has and I’m convinced it will never wear out. So this year on the budget horizon we decided to do the floors before the poor old mauve 80’s carpet wore out (it must be made of the stuff they make airplane cockpit recorders from). We chose a stranded bamboo that lends a great amount of character to the floors. It’s now parked in the living room and somehow between today and Wednesday, I need to pack up my belongings from four major rooms and store them.

I found this great online blog challenge for editing and had fun squeezing that in…take a look …

These boys are wonderful and remind me of our boys when they were little. Here is my edit:

Onward to our saturday with moving, packing and cleaning! Keeping my heart quiet and my eyes upward!

All locks end in 24

My dad. We mustn’t forget my dad. He’s learning how to cook; loves to cook stew about 3 times per week; tried making cookies but I think he might have been frustrated with that and of course he’s expert at bacon and eggs. Sometimes for dinner he eats milktoast — what exactly is that?

Born in ’24 he’s a depression kiddo. He knows how to save and does. He knows how to stretch a dollar, loaf of bread and well, just about anything. He’s a noted carpenter, rock hound and hardware expert. He has a gentle smile, large heart and unconditional love for his family.

I happened along this photo take about one week after mom got her diagnosis and although the eyes are blurred you can see the thought in his soul. We got your back Dad!

Rose Tea

Ever notice how soothing a hot tea in the evening is?  I am enjoying this and was just off to bed and thought “I don’t want to write down my thoughts tonight” then, the blog window opened and before me landed the new post window.  Ok, I will do it!  

Mondays are rough.  Mondays just following a spring forward time change are dreaded!  I never did get my groove. I made it though.  Several moments during the day the devil must have told me to go ahead and go home for a nap.  I listened and did not give in.  Wow, that’s a rare occasion where I listen.  

Mom looked ok today; she was a little down, expressed she really wishes she didn’t have this Cancer.  Mom, I do to… I do to.  Thank you for all you are showing me.  The humanity, the strength, the expression of sorrow yet trying to hide it from us all.  We love you.

Who does this

Who sleeps until 10:25 with no sign of waking up? Let me tell you who; a husband who played video games until wee hours of the morning. Part of me wants to go shake him and waken him and the other part is enjoying the quiet, coffee and photoshop today.
If there is anything left of the day when I wake him up, we might venture out into the country for some photos. Today, nothing spectacular is sprouting from my creative side. I need more prayer; need to center with him.

Bust Through This

Sometimes an artist just hits a wall, really an open act of rebellion. I am at my wall today. It probably doesn’t help that I have a headache! After this week’s experiences I am chasing the feeling of an image creating itself again… it was really the Lord, therefore I am after that again. I don’t mind not having an award, or people looking at the image with awe; no, what I’m after is that closeness… feeling of centering myself in a place of peace. No outside noise, just meek concentration on what is happening in my heart and in a photo.
rebellion!

The Gift

Everyday is a gift. Yes, sister, it surely is. This was the wisdom my sister gave me yesterday during a low moment. We were discussing how depressed mom was that day. Kathie said to mom what a gift it was to have another day. All of us leave this world in unique ways but all the same! We come, we live, we learn, grow and we leave. We surely do need to treat each day as the gift we received today. Makes sense. We haven’t walked in mom’s shoes but we are trying to be more positive and upbeat and dealing with this challenge in a God Dependent way. I could wake up tomorrow … dead. Gone. With our Lord. Today, for me, for you for all of us, is a gift.

I was thinking this morning (at about 4:30 a.m. I might add) what image can I play with, texture, gather meaning, insight and gather therapy from. Over and over in my brain I kept hearing … “the Gift”. I had no idea what this image or photo would be and then I happened along to the fuschia’s I shot last summer in a small Washington town called Snoqualimie Falls. The fushia’s chose me. The minute I saw the raw image, it said “HERE I AM… THE GIFT” Ahhhhh how fitting. Mom loves fuschia’s. They were eyepopping pink, purple and bold. I just let the flowers guide my hands much the same way they spoke to me.

This is one photographic image that really made itself from creation to completion. Smile.

This is how we roll!

It’s been a couple of weeks since my mother has had her diagnosis. I’ve cried, dried up, and cried again. I had a tantrum, almost as good as the one’s I used to throw as a child, and I have come to realize, there isn’t time to cry. Just like she said… don’t pour tears during precious time as it is short. So, with that said, onward we roll.

We finally had a day above 50 degrees yesterday and oh how we needed it. “Thank You Good Lord, for providing such a beautiful sunny day for us.” When it came time in the afternoon to finish our day with activity, we hemmed and hawed around tossing out ideas … Trader Joes?, Casino?, Shopping?, or scooter ride? I poo poo’d the scooter ride thinking it was too cold. It was an excuse. We finally settled on yes, you guessed it a scooter ride. I was going to send he who must be obeyed, to the store on his scooter and stay and process photos, regain me time, therapy, and then at the last minute someone spoke to me and pushed me right on that scooter with him.

As with many things once I was out there, riding, wind in my hair all my cares melted away. I was riding and it was sunny — a true double bonus! I find that with many things sometimes it’s just easier not to, but if you do … you will not regret it.

p.s. our dogs enjoyed it too.